The morning started with me teaching two really wonderful yoga classes, making some delicious homemade salsa, and digging in the dirt. All the things that typically make me feel good. Then all of a sudden I found myself in front of my computer screen looking for all types of new jobs, perusing through a myriad of grad school options, and doing some general scheming on how to totally uproot my life. I am currently in school for a thing I am really interested in, and doing what I love, and yet, I start looking into other options.
That, my friends, is a vata dosha imbalance. Seasonal transitions are governed by vata dosha, as is Autumn, so that's a double whammy of vata in your face right now. If you are feeling a little uprooted, overwhelmed, anxious, or mercurial you might also be feeling the effects of vata dosha.
Sometimes the winds of vata are great. That movement is what begets change, and change is good. I know, sometimes change sucks and is scary, but it is also good. After a lazy summer that vibrant Autumn energy can be just the thing we need to get moving again, to "take care business," so to speak. But sometimes things are just fine and that wind can carry you places you didn't want to go. All it takes is a little uprooting to lift you far away from your foundation.
When we are really paying attention I think we intuitively know how to deal with imbalance, but when we aren't those imbalances can escalate. When vata sneaks up on me, when I'm not paying attention, I try to solve my problems by doing more vata-y things. It is as if once one foot is off the ground, the other can't help but lift up too. And then what? I am not a bird. If both my feet are off the ground, I fall. In these moments I might drink coffee when I feel anxious, or move around a lot when I feel overwhelmed, or decide I should move to a whole new city when my house feels like a construction zone. I get crazy. I get windy brain.
There is usually a point where I realize what is going on. This time I realized just how un-grounded I was when I uttered the words, "I don't even like yoga," in the middle of some frantic rant about how I needed to find a "career," and decided I didn't want to "do Ayurveda" anymore. Usually when I start to get too in my head, I make myself go watch an Ayurveda lecture or do my Ayurveda homework, and it totally grounds me and takes my mind off everything else. So, when I start dissing on Ayurveda you know something is deeply wrong.
This Fall has been rough. It has been much harder to find my foundation and start to balance out what vata is throwing down. I am finally starting to feel grounded again.